


You Make Me Feel

by Fly_Kitty7000



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angst, Assault, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, First Dates, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friendship, Hermaphrodites, Injury, Intersex, Loss of Virginity, Love at First Sight, M/M, Major Character Injury, Male Slash, Minor Character Death, Moving In Together, Mpreg, Mugging, OOC, Oral Sex, Out of Character, Pain, Post-Divorce, Pre-Slash, Pregnancy, Pregnant Sex, Pregnant Spencer, Pregnant with Multiples, Self-Esteem Issues, Sex, Sexual Content, Slash, Unplanned Pregnancy, natural birth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-04-28 06:01:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5080450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fly_Kitty7000/pseuds/Fly_Kitty7000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After his divorce, Aaron Hotchner didn't think he'd ever feel romantic love for another person.  That was until he met an utterly fascinating, long-haired man named Spencer in the park.  Can the two make it work?  Or will neither of them ever find true love?</p><p>A/N: This is the result of a request from reader serier4ever :) See beginning notes inside chapter 1 for more information. Thanks!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Who is that Man?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my avid readers! :P Here is yet another story written from a request, this time from serier4ever. Here is the request that I received:
> 
> I would love if you could write an AU M-preg story where everyone is in the BAU EXCEPT Reid. He can be a family to a victim or just someone Hotch meet at a cafe or other place. I love Hotch/Reid but if you don´t feel compatible with that Morgan is okay;) But yee they fall in love, Spencer get pregnant with twins or triplets. Before or during his pregnancy he gets physically assaulted while on his way home or something like that (hotch=angry, angst, nervous, scared and spencer in hospital ;D ) Then we get to follow there love story and the upbringing of their children. :D
> 
> Now, I've never written Hotch/Reid before so I don't expect it to be perfect, I'm going to try my absolute best to make this work. I started to write this afternoon and found that I couldn't stop (so maybe it'll be easier than I expect lol). I sort of wrote this as a 'What if the FBI didn't make exceptions for Spencer to graduate the academy and join the BAU. What would have happened to him?' And this is what I came up with :)
> 
> As always with my slash and mpreg stories, I have a list of fake categories of intersexed people that I use and they will be included in notes at the end of Chapter 1. Also, I write Spencer shorter than almost everyone and with a higher voice than he has in the show. Please let me know what you think and serier4ever, let me know how I did :) Thanks and I look forward to the comments and kudos coming in :D
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of the characters therein. I just take them and do what I want with them (which is why they may read a little OOC even though I always try to keep each character's center, or what makes them the way they are, unless otherwise noted). If you don't like the story, please don't read it. All hateful comments or flames will be immediately deleted or marked as spam. I do, however, accept and welcome constructive criticism, opinions, and other comments as long as they are made in good taste. Thank you for reading and being respectful to me, as a human being, and my work in general. Please enjoy!

Aaron Hotchner thought he had a pretty good life. He was divorced, yes, and his ex-wife resented him for being such a workaholic, but he still had access to his 3-year-old son on whatever weekends he was home, and he had a job that he liked with coworkers who were almost closer to him than his own family. He wasn’t the happiest person alive, of course… but he didn’t think he was the most miserable either! Especially today.

 

Today was Saturday and he had the weekend off, which meant, much to his delight, that his son, Jack, was asleep in his room down the hall (he’d picked Jack up last night after work from his ex-wife, Haley’s, house) and that Aaron was currently awake and in the kitchen making pancakes. Chocolate chip, Jack’s favorite.

 

Having worked at the Bureau, and before that a law firm, for a good part of his life, Aaron found himself unable to sleep in on his days off anymore, unless of course he was sick or some other extenuating circumstance was in effect. So here Aaron was, pulling bacon out of the freezer and sticking it in the microwave to defrost at 7:30 in the morning. He had the kitchen windows open to let in the cool spring breeze, the sounds of birds and distant cars passing by soothing to his ears.

 

It had been a while since he had a weekend off to enjoy with his son so he was immensely happy, early morning sleepiness be damned! He chuckled to himself as he flipped a pancake expertly, thinking about what Derek Morgan or David Rossi, members of his work team, would say if they saw him being so domestic. His unit knew he had a son, but they’d never really seen him in ‘down-time’ mode.

 

Yes, Aaron went out drinking with his subordinates, sometimes as often as once a week, but he’d never really ‘let his hair down,’ as it were, around them, feeling as if he needed to keep up the ‘strict and stern’ persona around them to keep their respect. He knew that that probably wasn’t true… but sometimes it was so hard to relax, even around the ones that he loved. And he had absolutely no qualms in admitting that he loved his team (although he’d probably never come out and tell _them_ that).

 

The microwave beeped and Aaron turned to take the bacon out, separate it, and put a few strips into a clean frying pan where they immediately sizzled and put out a tantalizing smell that filled the air. ‘ _Haley used to love bacon_ ,’ Aaron thought sadly as he started to make orange juice while keeping a close eye on the stove. He sighed, hating the random thoughts that often popped into his head while he was doing everyday things.

 

He missed Haley, that was for certain, but he wasn’t entirely sure if he missed _her_ , or if he was just lonely in general. Most nights he found himself in hotel rooms across the country, working on cases and sometimes sharing those rooms with another male member on the team. But when he was home, unless he had Jack, he found himself alone in a quiet house, sleeping in a cold bed. He didn’t even have a pet to keep him company! ‘ _Maybe I should get a dog…’_

 

Aaron sighed again as he put more bacon on and started to set the small kitchen table. Haley hadn’t understood him. She never had. Often when they fought, she had told him that she’d only married him because she thought that he was the best she could do. Well, about a year after Jack was born, Haley had apparently found out that she could do better and started having an affair.

 

He’d looked past everything because he enjoyed having someone to come home to, and then later on because he’d wanted Jack to have both his parents together. But when Haley had filed for divorce, Aaron hadn’t contested it, figuring that it was probably for the best anyway. Haley seemed happy with her new boyfriend and Jack, being Haley’s custodial child because Aaron wasn’t home enough to gain custody, spoke highly of how he was treated at home (even though it always made Aaron smile when Jack said he’d rather live with his daddy).

 

Sometimes Aaron wished that he had a different job so that he _could_ stay home and care for Jack, but he knew that, no matter how much he loved his son, he couldn’t do it. He’d left his higher-paying and more consistent job at the law firm because he felt he could be doing more with his life and now… now he felt like he was where he belonged. He was helping people who really needed it and he was slowly making a difference in the world by helping to lock up the sick and depraved that plagued society.

 

But that little voice in his head that always made him feel guilty liked to remind him that work wasn’t everything. ‘ _What makes those people any better than your wife and son?’_ the voice would ask, making a little uncomfortable pressure grow in the pit of his stomach. Most of the time, he could push it away… but sometimes, when he was laying in his king-size bed all alone in his empty house in the middle of the night, that voice would get the better of him.

 

Those people _weren’t_ more important than his son, that was for sure. His wife (now ex-wife)… well, that was debatable. Haley had left _him_ , not the other way around. He’d attempted to work things out with her, but he wasn’t willing to give up his life just to make her happy (and, with the way she often talked, even doing that wouldn’t have made her any happier). But still, he often missed having another person to talk to, to share his evenings with, to share his bed with (and not just for sex either… though he sometimes missed that too).

 

“Daddy?” a small voice called as Jack walked into the kitchen, rubbing the ‘sleepies’ out of his eyes.

 

Aaron jumped slightly, having been just running on autopilot while his mind took a holiday, but immediately looked over at his son and smiled brightly. “Hey buddy!” he said enthusiastically, dropping to one knee so he could bring the small boy into a hug. “You ready for some breakfast? I made chocolate-chip pancakes and bacon.”

 

“Choca chip panakes! Yay!” Jack exclaimed in his broken toddler English, pulling away from his father’s embrace so he could jump up and down in excitement.

 

Aaron laughed warmly and stood up to take the last of the food off of the stove and put it onto plates to set on the table. He then got the syrup and orange juice out of the fridge as Jack, using a little child-sized step stool, climbed up into his plastic booster chair that was strapped into one of Aaron’s kitchen chairs.

 

Aaron, the smile still on his face showing his joy at getting to eat breakfast with his son, put a pancake on Jack’s plate, cut it into fours, and then put a little syrup on top, garnishing it with two strips of bacon. As he slid the plate over to his son, not bothering with a bib since Jack was still in his PJs, he grabbed the sippy cup and filled it full of half juice, half water.

 

“Fank you, daddy!” Jack said through a mouthful of pancake, syrup dripping down his chin as he reached for the cup to take a drink.

 

“You’re very welcome, buddy,” Aaron answered, leaning down to kiss the top of Jack’s head and then sitting down to watch Jack messily cut and eat his food with his kiddy knife and fork. He shook his head in amusement and started eating his own food, actually surprised at how good it tasted. “How would you like to go to the park today?”

 

“Yeah!” Jack exclaimed as he nodded his head violently, a wide smile on his face as he picked up a piece of bacon and put the end of it in his mouth.

 

“Alright, sounds like a plan to me,” Aaron said fondly, taking a drink of his juice. “So tell me about your week, Jack. What did you and Mommy do?”

 

And for the rest of the meal, Jack gabbed on in a mixture of English and gibberish as Aaron tried to follow everything and interpret some of the words he _knew_ didn’t exist in the dictionary. Even as Aaron cleaned up and ran a wet rag over Jack’s mouth and hands to wipe away the sticky syrup remnants, the little boy continued to talk, his words only speeding up as he got more and more into what he was saying.

 

Aaron really didn’t mind though. It had been a while since he’d gotten to spend any real time with Jack so he guessed they were both just trying to catch up. Or it could be that Jack just liked to talk, something that Aaron had picked up on as soon as Jack had learned _how_ to talk.

 

“Ok, buddy, get your bag together and then we’ll go,” Aaron told Jack after he’d gotten him dressed in green plaid shorts and a brown shirt with a decal of the Count from Sesame Street on it.

 

“Ok!” Jack said and ran to get a book-bag from his closet to fill with toys and other play things. This was something that Aaron had started as soon as Jack was big enough to enjoy the park. Jack would pack robots or stuffed animals to play with while Aaron had a more practical bag that usually included things like sunscreen, water bottles, a football, and a book for Aaron to read in case Jack wanted to play on his own.

 

Fifteen minutes later and Aaron and Jack were on their way out the door and to the park that was 3 blocks away. Aaron walked on the side closer to the road while he held his son’s hand to make sure that Jack didn’t just run off, potentially into traffic. Aaron’s house was in the suburbs (he’d bought it and moved there when he found out that Haley was pregnant, not wanting to bring his child up in the middle of a city setting), but there was still a fair amount of traffic that went through.

 

The park was big and accommodating, making it welcome for just about anyone who wanted to just go outside and get some fresh air. There were benches and picnic tables scattered around in the green lush grass, a jogging and dog walking path, and a fairly large playground with slides, swings, a jungle gym, and other things to keep children occupied. All in all, it was a beautiful place for anyone and everyone to visit, not just kids.

 

As soon as they stepped onto the grass and Aaron let go of Jack’s hand, Jack went running for the playground where a few other young boys and girls were playing. Aaron smiled and looked around for a place to sit so he could watch Jack from a distance.

 

That’s when he saw a young man with long sandy-brown hair sitting alone at a picnic table, books and papers spread out in front of him, some being held down with rocks and other random makeshift paperweights to prevent the wind from blowing his work away. Aaron was struck by the way the boy (he looked barely older than 18) ran his finger down the pages at lightning speed, flipping pages every 30 seconds or sooner.

 

‘ _He can’t really be reading that fast, can he?’_ Aaron thought incredulously. He found himself being drawn over toward the stranger, his curiosity getting the better of him.

 

“Hey, is anyone sitting here?” Aaron asked the man when he got over to the table. Being this close, Aaron noticed that the kid was very skinny, almost to the point of being unhealthy. He found his eyes running up and down the lithe body, noticing that the only meat on him seemed to be located at his hips and backside. Then he shook his head in embarrassment. He should _not_ be staring at a young man’s butt! No matter _how_ shapely it seemed to be.

 

Aaron was about to apologize, thinking that the man’s silence was because he’d noticed Aaron checking him out, but then he realized that the boy hadn’t even looked up at Aaron to begin with. ‘ _Is he ignoring me?’_ Aaron thought with some confusion. Even in his line of work, he’d never had anyone be so rude that they wouldn’t even _look_ at him!

 

Aaron decided to try again, though, choosing to believe that the young man simply hadn’t heard Aaron’s question. He cleared his throat and leaned forward slightly. “Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?”

 

The boy startled and blinked his large brown eyes rapidly, as if trying to come back to reality. He looked up at Aaron with confusion on his face and then looked from side to side, making sure that Aaron was actually talking to _him_. When the boy saw no one else around, he stared back up at Aaron and pursed his lips together. “Why?” he finally asked in a small, slightly high-pitched voice that sounded genuinely curious as opposed to snide or derisive.

 

Aaron smiled and chuckled slightly at the confusion on the man’s face. ‘ _This guy is so_ cute _!’_ he thought fondly as he looked into the doe-eyes that were hidden by thick glasses. “I wanted to know if I could sit with you,” Aaron answered slowly but kindly. “That’s all.”

 

The small man blinked a few more times but then said, “Oh… n-no, no one’s sitting here… except for me, of course.” He then blushed and stared back down at his book in embarrassment.

 

Aaron chuckled again but moved around the table to sit across from the cute guy in a position that would still allow him to keep an eye on Jack. “I’m Aaron Hotchner. What’s your name?” Aaron introduced, holding his hand out over the table for the boy to shake.

 

The kid startled again and stared back up at Aaron with surprise on his face, obviously shocked that Aaron had actually sat down with him. “Oh, I’m uh… I’m Spencer Reid. It’s a… I-It’s a pleasure to m-meet you,” he answered, reaching his small, delicate hand over to grasp Aaron’s and shake it awkwardly, pulling away rather quickly to wrap his arm around his abdomen.

 

“It’s nice to meet you, Spencer,” Aaron said, his grin widening. ‘ _Spencer… what a pleasant, old-world name!’_ Aaron thought as he brought his own hand down to rest on the table in a section that wasn’t covered with literature. ‘ _And god, he’s so_ beautiful _! Small and delicate, almost like a pixie!’_

 

Aaron shook his head to clear his mind again, slightly embarrassed at where his thoughts kept going. “So, Spencer,” he said to try to get a conversation going so they wouldn’t end up just sitting in awkward silence. “What are you working on? College work?”

 

Spencer let out a laugh and then coughed, clearing his throat to gain his composure once more as his cheeks again flooded with blush. “No I’m uh… I’m not in college. I uh… I actually _teach_ at George Washington University and am an occasional guest speaker at the FBI Academy at Quantico.”

 

It was Aaron’s turn to be surprised when Spencer said this. “Really? What a small world,” he said with a smirk, surprisingly glad that he and Spencer had something in common. “I work for the FBI myself.”

 

“Wow! What department?” Spencer asked, suddenly enthusiastic and staring at Aaron as if he were the most interesting thing on the planet.

 

It gave Aaron a bit of a head rush to be looked at with such admiration, especially by someone that he found attractive (that had certainly never happened with _Haley_ ). He cleared his throat and chuckled slightly, never feeling that his job was all that interesting to the general public, but he was obviously wrong. “I’m a unit chief for one of the teams in the BAU. That stands for –”

 

“You work for the Behavioral Analysis Unit?” Spencer interrupted with a hefty amount of awe in his voice and Aaron could see that his eyes were sparkling with curiosity, wonder, and maybe just a hint of jealously. “That’s what I originally came to DC to do but I couldn’t pass the physical parts of the academy and they unfortunately wouldn’t make any exceptions for me so I just ended up teaching, guest speaking, and occasionally consulting for other departments in the FBI but the BAU has never called me in for one even though I keep offering up my help,” Spencer said all in one breath.

 

Aaron blinked a few times as he tried to comprehend Spencer’s fast-paced words. “You tried to get into the BAU?” he asked for clarification, wondering how many _more_ things he had in common with this guy he just met.

 

“Yeah I heard a lecture that Jason Gideon gave at CalTech when I was a student there and he met with me afterword when I showed interest in what he was saying,” Spencer answered, a small smile forming on his face as he seemed to relax slightly at being able to talk about something he was comfortable with. “He convinced me to apply to the academy and told me that he’d put in a good word for me, hoping that my academic achievements would convince the Bureau that I was worth having even though I’m not physically capable of completing many of the requirements to graduate. But, like I said, the Bureau unfortunately didn’t agree with him so I ended up dropping out before I could fail too badly.” Spencer chuckled slightly, making Aaron wince at the self-deprecating tone. “I don’t handle failure very well so I figured quitting while I was ahead would be for the best.”

 

“You know Jason?” Aaron asked, his eyes showing pain at the subject for just a moment before he hid it. “Do you know where he is?”

 

Spencer hung his head and sadly answered, “No, I regrettably do not. We ended up growing quite close, especially after he used his suspension time to teach. He sent me a letter before he left… but he didn’t tell me where he was going.”

 

Aaron took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. He wished he wouldn’t have asked that question. Not only did it bring up bad memories for him, but it seemed to depress Spencer as well, which was not something that Aaron hadn’t meant to do. Seeing hurt and pain on the beautiful man’s face brought Aaron more heartache than he thought was possible, especially after only knowing Spencer for less than an hour!

 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up,” Aaron said in a slightly hoarse voice. He cleared his throat and decided to try to change the subject back to something less depressing. “So um… if you don’t mind me asking, why would Jason think the Bureau would make an exception for you? What exactly _are_ your academic achievements?”

 

Spencer blinked and his eyebrows shot up to almost touch his hairline. “Oh, I uh… well I personally don’t think that the FBI was wrong in not allowing me to move up without passing certain things. After all, there are many people who put a lot of effort into achieving graduation so it wouldn’t be quite fair for me to skip ahead just because I have a few degrees.”

 

Aaron chuckled at Spencer’s rambling words and the blush that crept up his cheeks. “I wasn’t implying anything either way, Spencer. I was just curious,” he said gently as he reached over to cover the small hand that was still on the book that Spencer had been reading.

 

Spencer’s eyes went wide as he stared down at Aaron’s large hand on his own, the look on his face clearly saying that he didn’t know what the Hell was going on.

 

Aaron, after realizing what he’d done, instantly snatched his hand back and stuck it in his pocket, embarrassed at having done something so intimate to almost a complete stranger! What was he doing?! Just because Spencer had a lot of things in common with Aaron didn’t mean that he had the right to act like he was more than just a _stranger_!

 

Spencer cleared his throat and licked his lips. Not quite meeting Aaron’s eyes and, in a slightly trembling voice, Spencer said, “I uh… I-I have doctorates in Mathematics, Chemistry, and Engineering, master’s degrees in Psychology and Behavioral Sciences, and bachelor’s degrees in Anatomy, Biology, and Philosophy. I also have an IQ of 187, an eidetic memory, and can read 20,000 words per minute.”

 

Aaron was stunned to silence, his earlier social faux-pas completely wiped from his mind. ‘ _Holy shit, the kid’s a_ genius! _’_ he thought with admiration and a little bit of disappointment. ‘ _He’d never want to go out with someone as dull as me.’_ Then he blinked and crinkled his eyebrows together. ‘ _When the_ Hell _did I decide that I wanted to ask him out on a date?!’_

 

His thoughts were interrupted, however, as Spencer’s small voice permeated the awkward silence that had descended over their table. “C-Can I ask… _why_ you wanted to s-sit with me?”

 

Aaron sniffed and he could feel a small blush heat his cheeks. ‘ _God, since when do I_ blush _?! You’re being ridiculous!’_ he thought angrily to himself as he took a deep breath and forced a smile onto his face. “I thought you looked a little lonely and I… well, I wanted someone to talk to.”

 

“But why _me_?” Spencer asked earnestly, making a bigger deal out of it than Aaron thought was necessary. “There are plenty of people here to talk to. Why’d you pick _me_? _No_ one wants to sit with me.”

 

Aaron’s heart broke slightly at Spencer’s words, wondering what kind of life the kid could have had for him to think so little of himself. He then took a deep breath and decided to do something he never thought he would do, _especially_ after being left with the emotional baggage that his divorce had given him. “To be honest?” he began, but then cleared his throat and averted his gaze, hoping that Spencer wouldn’t be too offended by his next words. “The way you were reading fascinated me and… well… I uh… I thought you were… well, _attractive_.”

 

Spencer’s mouth dropped open and his whole face turned crimson. This wildly gorgeous man thought that he, Spencer, was _attractive_?! This _had_ to be some sort of joke or prank or _something_. This just _couldn’t_ be reality!

 

After a moment of silence, Aaron snuck a glance up and had to fight not to laugh at Spencer’s facial expression. He looked absolutely shocked! Then a somber thought hit Aaron like a punch in the gut. Had this poor man never been told how beautiful he was? Had _no_ one ever shown any romantic interest in him? That was just so… _sad_!

 

Aaron cleared his throat and decided that stunned silence wasn’t as bad as being offended, so he may as well take it all the way. “Would you… well, would you want to get coffee sometime? Talk a little more? You know… get to know each other a little better?”

 

Spencer blinked and swallowed audibly and, when he finally answered, his voice came out somewhat hoarse. “A-Are you serious?”

 

Aaron struggled not to let sadness cloud his smile. The poor man thought that Aaron was playing a joke on him! “Yes, Spencer, I am being _absolutely_ serious.” When Spencer didn’t answer and still looked somewhat suspicious, Aaron sighed and tried to go about it another way. “Ok, so you don’t believe me. That’s ok. We barely know each other so it’s understandable. But will you give me a chance? Are you busy tomorrow evening?”

 

All Spencer could seem to do was blink in utter shock at what Aaron was saying, but he eventually forced himself to shake his head in an answer to the question.

 

Aaron smiled a little wider, willing to take just about anything for an answer right about now. “Ok good. How about we plan to meet at the Starbucks on 7th Street at around 5 tomorrow evening. From there, maybe we can get some dinner or something. Sound good?”

 

Spencer cleared his throat and licked his lips, a gesture that Aaron thought seemed to help him concentrate during moments he considered uncomfortable. “Y-Yeah, ok. S-Sounds good.”

 

Aaron’s grin was almost blinding as a happy little bubble formed in his chest. He then looked at the various papers sitting around the table, spotting a notebook and a pen. He grabbed them and said, “Here, let me give you my number. That way you can call incase anything comes up.” He handed the notebook back to Spencer who concentrated on the number momentarily before picking the pen up himself.

 

“H-Here’s mine,” he mumbled as he scribbled a number on the bottom of the page then ripped the section out. “Y-You know… for the same reason.”

 

Aaron chuckled and took the number, making sure to stow it away in his pocket where he wouldn’t lose it. “Thank you,” he said earnestly, getting the distinct impression that giving out his number wasn’t something that Spencer often did.

 

Spencer smiled shyly but then an alarm from somewhere went off, causing him to jump and look around. Then he pulled out his cellphone and, as he looked at the screen, his eyes went wide. “Oh god, I’m going to be late!” he exclaimed, suddenly standing up and almost tripping in his effort to extract himself from the picnic table. “I have office hours in 10 minutes!”

 

Aaron stood as well and automatically bent down to help gather up the materials that were spread across the table. “Here, let me help,” he murmured, his hand brushing up against Spencer’s a few times but neither man commented on it.

 

As soon as everything was collected and put into Spencer’s brown, somewhat ratty messenger bag, Spencer immediately rushed off, slinging the strap around his neck as he ran.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow!” Aaron called as he waved, hoping that the man wouldn’t forget. After all, from what Aaron had just seen, Spencer seemed to be somewhat absent minded.

 

Spencer turned around at the words and called back, “Y-Yeah! Tomorrow!” Then he spun back around, almost falling over his own feet, and ran at full speed out of the park and down the street.

 

Aaron sighed and sat back down, giving the park a quick once over to make sure Jack was still in sight, then took a moment to enter Spencer’s number into his own cellphone. “Let’s hope this works out,” he said to himself, wishing that he’d snuck a paparazzi picture of the attractive man to put next to his number.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Categories of Intersexed People:
> 
> Category A - Males or Females with correct reproductive organs but also containing partially formed organs from the opposite gender (ex. A female child containing 100% of her correct reproductive organs but who also contains an under-formed, un-dropped testicle attached to her ovary or a male child containing 100% of his correct reproductive organs but who also contains a floating ovary)
> 
> Category B - Males or Females with correct reproductive organs but also containing fully formed organs from the opposite gender (ex. A male child containing 100% of his correct reproductive organs but who also contains a floating uterus and ovaries that are not attached to any other organ in the body or a female child containing 100% of her correct reproductive organs but who also contains fully formed, un-dropped testicles)
> 
> Category C - Males or Females with partially formed reproductive organs from both genders (ex. A child who has incomplete sets of both sexual organs, such as a child containing a uterus and vagina with vaginal opening, but instead of having ovaries, has a fully formed scrotum)
> 
> Category Q - This category only includes males and are males with full sets of both male and female reproductive organs but only the male organs are visible externally and the vaginal opening is located in the rectum
> 
> Category X - A person who is fully both male and female, having visible male reproductive organs as well as an external vaginal opening located behind the penis where the perineum should be on a "normal" male


	2. How Old Are You?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This chapter isn't as long as the last, but I wanted to get something out so you knew I was working on it. I hope you enjoy it! As always, I love positive comments, feedback, constructive criticism, suggestions, etc. Thanks! :D

As soon as Haley came to pick Jack up at 3pm on Sunday, Aaron couldn’t think of anything other than his meeting (date?) with Spencer at 5. What the Hell had he been thinking, asking out someone who very well could be young enough to be his son?! Granted, Aaron would have had to be a young father for his son to be 18 but still…

 

‘ _How do you_ know _he’s that young? It’s not like you asked!’_ he told himself as he went to his closet to try to pick out something to wear. ‘ _After all, he has a_ million _degrees! He can’t possibly be younger than, what, 20?’_ Aaron just prayed to god that Spencer was at _least_ 18 because otherwise this would become very awkward, very fast.

 

“Why the Hell didn’t you _ask_ him before you started _hitting_ on him?” he asked himself angrily as he picked out a suit and tie and then went into the ensuite bathroom to take a shower. “Very smart, Aaron. This is a _great_ way to get yourself put on a watch list!” he mumbled sarcastically, stripping out of his everyday clothes and climbing into the shower stall.

 

Aaron sighed when the spray of warm water hit him, enjoying the way it felt on his skin. He vaguely wondered what Spencer’s small, delicate hands would feel like running over his chest and down his abdomen and –

 

‘ _Holy god, you need to stop_ now _!’_ he interrupted his musings, his eyes going wide when he felt himself starting to become aroused. ‘ _You really_ are _a pervert! You’ve known this guy for a_ day _and you’re already having sexual fantasies about him?!’_

 

Aaron shook his head and purposefully thought about anything and everything other than Spencer. However, as soon as he finished his shower and started drying off, the first thing that popped into his mind was whether or not it _was_ a date that he was about to go on.

 

If it was a date, then he should probably dress in the suit and tie that he’d picked out. But, if it _wasn’t_ a date, would his ‘normal’ clothes be too formal? Would Spencer feel out of place? But, what if _Spencer_ thought it was a date and dressed up and Aaron _didn’t_ dress up? Or the other way around? What was he going to do?! It had been years since he’d been single so he was sort of out of the loop when it came to the social scene and what was popular in the field of romance… or, he guessed, even how to tell a _date_ from just a casual _gathering_ …

 

He groaned and wished that he’d just had more time the day before to get to know Spencer and maybe hash out what it was that Aaron really wanted from the young man… or even if Spencer wanted anything from Aaron and wasn’t just being polite since Aaron had pretty much just come and inserted himself into Spencer’s life without really making sure that it was ok.

 

Well, he supposed that if Spencer didn’t show up at Starbucks this evening, Aaron would have his answer (and he would really try to take it like a man and not phone stalk the poor boy for reasons as to why he didn’t want anything to do with Aaron). Aaron really hoped that Spencer showed up, though. Even if Spencer didn’t want to date Aaron (and Aaron was still a little surprised and embarrassed that, when he really thought about it, he _really_ wanted to do so much more to the lithe, pixie-like man than just _date_ him), he really hoped that Spencer would still want to be Aaron’s friend.

 

Aaron didn’t really have many friends outside of work and, just from talking to Spencer for less than an hour the previous morning, he didn’t figure that Spencer had many friends _period_. So, considering that, hopefully Spencer wouldn’t reject him immediately.

 

‘ _You already got past the first hurdle, though,’_ he reminded himself as he went about picking out a different outfit, one that was more casual than the suit he’d already picked out but more formal than just jeans and a T-shirt. ‘ _You convinced him to see you again… hopefully.’_

 

He chuckled to himself slightly as he put on a pair of boxers and an undershirt. _No_ one at the office would ever guess that Aaron Hotchner was anything _but_ confident when it came to pretty much everything outside of work. He kept a cool head most of the time while he was working because he was good at his job and he knew that, in order for his team to be good at _their_ jobs, their leader had to _not_ be a blubbering mess of uncertainty. So, even if he really _didn’t_ have a clue as to how to proceed during a case, he always _acted_ like he did so his team members would still be able to remain confident.

 

Outside of work, however, Aaron let those doubts and uncertainties rise to the surface. He constantly wondered if he was doing the right thing when it came to his marriage (he supposed he didn’t have to worry about _that_ one anymore, though), his son, even himself! So now, as he thought about what may come from his meeting with Spencer, that little pinch of doubt came forward and asked him if he really _wanted_ to start a relationship so soon after his divorce.

 

It had been a year since Haley had left Aaron and moved in with her new boyfriend and 6 months since their divorce was finalized. But Aaron wasn’t sure what the socially acceptable amount of time was to move on after losing a person you had once thought you loved. Apparently Haley didn’t care what society thought since she’d moved on a year before she even moved out of Aaron’s house… but Aaron _did_ care, at least to a certain extent.

 

His job ended up putting him in the spotlight more than he’d like and if the wrong people found out that he’d started dating again possibly sooner than he should, then that could have negative implications not only for him and his work, but his team as well. Any bad press affected them all because the FBI’s image was half of what got teams into places to get things done. If that image was scarred too badly, it would hinder _everyone’s_ work.

 

Aaron sighed and sat down on his bed as he buttoned up his shirt. Over all, he really didn’t care what _anyone_ thought, except for Jack. He’d been shown in a negative light before and he and his team had gotten through it. ‘ _You’re just looking for reasons to call this whole things off… And nothing has even_ started _yet!’_ he sternly told himself with a shake of his head. ‘ _Get it together, Aaron! You’re just going out to meet a hopelessly adorable man who’s hopefully not a minor and you’re going to drink coffee and talk! You can do this!’_

 

Aaron gritted his teeth and balled his hands up as he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. Then he stood up and turned his mind on autopilot so he could finish getting ready to go without completely panicking or deciding not to go at all.

 

* * *

 

 

Aaron had finished his second cup of coffee before he decided to leave. He’d been waiting in the coffee shop for almost 45 minutes, checking his phone and bouncing his leg nervously, but Spencer still hadn’t shown. He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised. After all, Aaron had been the one to put himself into Spencer’s life and then almost immediately jumped to asking him out on a date! It was no wonder the kid wanted nothing to do with him! He probably thought that Aaron was some sort of predator or something!

 

He stood up from his seat, threw away his cup, and headed toward the door, grumbling to himself about how stupid he’d been. He’d taken two steps outside, though, when a skinny man with shaggy, brown hair ran right into him. Aaron had caught himself by putting a hand on the side of the building, but the other man hadn’t been so lucky. He’d bounced off of Aaron and fell backward, landing hard on his back with books and papers flying everywhere.

 

“I’m so sorry!” he immediately cried as he turned himself over on his hands and knees and started scrambling around, trying to gather up his belongings.

 

Aaron, however, found himself speechless. He’d gone immediately from feeling like he’d been stood up to literally being run into by the man who had just stood him up… well wasn’t _that_ just ironic. He shook his head in amusement and chuckled slightly as he too got on his knees and helped the poor boy pick up his books.

 

“I thought you weren’t coming,” he commented when he started to hand over what he’d collected.

 

Spencer froze mid-reach and whipped his head up to stare at Aaron through the fringe of his hair. As if he’d just realized who he’d run into, Spencer’s eyes went wide and he cleared his throat, spluttering out, “Aaron! I-I am so _sorry_! I had every intention of keeping our date but then a student came in last moment and she was upset about an assignment so even though I don’t have office hours on Sunday, I really had to talk to her and then I lost track of time and when I finally got away, I ran the whole way here.” He then took a few deep breaths to calm himself down as his eyes moved searchingly over Aaron and the surroundings. “And you were just leaving… weren’t you?” he added in a soft voice, a deep blush starting to color his cheeks.

 

Aaron smiled warmly and answered, “It’s alright, Spencer. I understand. Yes, I was leaving, but I probably would have called you to ask why you hadn’t shown, so don’t worry about it.” He then stood up and held his hand out for Spencer to take.

 

Spencer stared at the hand for a moment as he put the last of his things into his seemingly ever-present messenger bag, but then he took it and stood up as well. He licked his lips and stared up at Aaron slightly nervously. “D-Do you still want to um… you know… _do_ something?”

 

Aaron chuckled and squeezed Spencer’s hand once before letting it go, not wanting to get too attached to the lanky young man until he knew a little more about him (even though his mind told him it was already too late for that because he already _was_ attached for some reason). “I’d love to do something with you, Spencer,” Aaron answered but then cringed inwardly, hoping those words didn’t sound too creepy.

 

Spencer, however, giggled a little before clearing his throat and nodding his head. “Ok… um… what?”

 

Aaron just grinned, not seeming to be able to wipe the happiness off of his face when he was around the boy, even though Aaron really didn’t know him at all. “Are you hungry? I know a little diner a few blocks down that has some pretty good food.”

 

“That sounds nice,” Spencer answered, pushing his glasses up his nose and then motioning for Aaron to lead the way.

 

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Aaron turned to look at his companion and asked, “So, when you said you intended to keep our _date_ , what did you mean by ‘date’?”

 

Spencer’s eyes grew wide again and his face started to turn red as he stuttered out, “Well, I mean… I-I _meant_ … um, well I-I guess I… meant whatever _you_ meant?”

 

Aaron chuckled at his non-answer answer and replied, “I meant this as a date when I asked you yesterday, but I wasn’t sure if _you_ would see it like that so I planned for it to go either way.”

 

Spencer swallowed and hugged his arms tightly around his torso. “Do you, uh… Do you _want_ it to be a… a date?” he hesitantly asked in a quiet voice, refusing to look up at Aaron as they continued to walk down the sidewalk.

 

Aaron smiled somewhat sadly and again found himself wondering what could have happened in this man’s life to make him so unsure of himself and his surroundings. He wanted to just answer, ‘ _Yes, yes I do!’,_ but he knew he couldn’t without finding out something very important first.

 

“Before I answer,” he began slowly, glancing down at Spencer who looked to be warily looking up at Aaron through his hair. “I need to know… and I really hate to ask because it seems like a personal question, but it’s important… How old are you, Spencer? Or, if you don’t want to tell me exactly, are you at least over 18?”

 

Spencer let out a laugh and then clapped a hand over his mouth and stared at Aaron for a moment. He then brought his hand down and said with some humor, “Don’t worry, you’re not being creepy. I know I look young, but I’m 25.”

 

Aaron let out a relieved sigh and smiled warmly. “Then, yes, I would like this to be a date, if that’s ok with you.”

 

Spencer blushed again and bit his bottom lip, but a smile was slowly spreading across his face. In a soft voice, he said, “Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

 

Aaron smiled widely, thinking that he’d smiled more in the last two days than he had in a long time (unless he was around Jack), and then took a chance by reaching a hand out and hesitantly grabbing one of Spencer’s. Spencer jumped a little and looked surprised, but he didn’t pull away, only changing the grip slightly and giving Aaron’s hand a testing squeeze as if it had been a long time since anyone had held his hand.

 

‘ _I wonder if anyone ever_ has _held his hand before,’_ Aaron thought sadly as he squeezed Spencer’s hand back, but he didn’t say anything and neither did Spencer. They instead chose to stay in comfortable silence for the rest of the rest of the walk, just enjoying each other’s company.


	3. Did I Help?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Sorry it's taken so long for me to update. I've had some problems lately finding my creative spark so it literally took me this whole time to finally get this chapter right. It's very long so hopefully that makes up for it being so late. Also, before anyone comments on my fictional character Connie (she comes in at the end) and the student-teacher relationship I set up, I've been personally part of the college/university setting for almost 10 years now and I know PLENTY of people who act like Connie who still seem to pass their classes and I know quite a few professors who ask the advice of their students. It isn't like high school. Now, I know that not all universities are as lax as the ones I've been a part of and I've never gone to George Washington University personally so I have no idea if my scenario exactly works in that setting, but I just used what I know and wrote it into fiction. Please, if you've never experienced a lax student-teacher environment or if you've never known anyone like Connie, just suspend your disbelief and don't be hateful :) I always love feedback but flames will be immediately deleted so, if you don't like what I write, just don't read it please! Thank you! I hope that everyone enjoys this chapter and forgives me for being so slow on my updates :D

Aaron walked into work Monday morning with a big smile on his face, which was something that never happened. He was the last one into work as well, which was also something that never happened. He wasn’t really _late_ , coming into the bullpen before the clock struck 9am… he was just usually in the office as soon as he could be, having nothing else to do with his mornings. This particular morning, however, he had a lot on his mind. He’d taken a little longer to get ready this morning because his mind kept veering off into thoughts of Spencer, what had happened the previous evening, and what might happen in the future.

 

“Hey Boss-man, what’s with the big smile?” Garcia greeted as she turned around to face Aaron from her position on the corner of Derek Morgan’s desk. Her loud voice alerted the rest of the team gathered in the bullpen, including Jennifer Jareau, Emily Prentiss, and Derek Morgan himself, to his arrival as well so that they were all now staring at him. “I take it you had a good weekend?”

 

Aaron gave a curt nod, trying to wipe the smile from his face and get into ‘work mode,’ but he just couldn’t. There was too much to be happy over! “Better than I expected,” he answered and then tried to hurry away to his office.

 

Derek, however, stood up and practically shouted, “Hey, man, I know that smile! Who’s the lucky lady?”

 

Aaron inwardly groaned as a collective “Ooh” of interest went around the gathered team members. He stopped in his tracks and turned his head to look back at the group, trying put a glare on his face but not pulling it off because of the remnants of the smile still on his lips. “That’s none of your business,” he answered, which caused the women, who had been hoping for details, to deflate in disappointment. “Now get to work.”

 

“You didn’t deny it, Hotch, which means I’m probably right!” Derek shouted in a triumphant voice as Aaron continued the walk to his office. “Atta boy, playa! Welcome back to the game!”

 

“Get to work, Morgan,” Aaron repeated without turning to look at them this time. His voice was stern, but enough humor leaked through to tell Derek that he wasn’t upset.

 

“Alright, man, you don’t need to tell me twice,” Derek said, sounding pleased with himself that he’d figured out the source of Aaron’s good mood.

 

“Apparently he does, Morgan, because, you know, he _did_ ,” Emily said, and Aaron didn’t have to look around to know that she had a smirk on her face.

 

“Why you gotta be so mean to me?” Derek asked in a hurt voice that was clearly faked.

 

“Because it’s so fun, hot stuff!” Garcia answered and Aaron glanced around in enough time to see her slap Derek’s butt playfully, to which Derek jumped and grabbed said butt, looking highly offended, but a humorous twinkle in his eyes gave him away.

 

Aaron rolled his eyes and chuckled softly at the playful banter that continued between the young team members. It was heartwarming to know that they could still see joy in life despite the horrors they faced almost daily. Too many people had had to resign from the various BAU teams, their own included, because they had lost the ability to step away from the work. Aaron knew that, as long as his team members could still joke around and laugh, they could make it through just about anything.

 

Aaron unlocked his office and stepped through, turning on the lights and setting his briefcase down on the desk. He sat down in his rolling office chair and started to go through the work he’d left on Friday, waiting on JJ to bring him the new files for the day, when David Rossi stepped through the door and closed it behind him. Aaron looked up as Rossi sat down in one of the chairs in front of Aaron’s desk. “Good morning, Dave,” he greeted, a little confused by the senior agent’s presence.

 

“Morning, Aaron,” Dave greeted as he got comfortable. Then, he cut directly to the chase. “So I heard the commotion out in the bullpen a few minutes ago. Is it true? Are you back ‘in the game,’ as Morgan likes to put it?”

 

Aaron huffed out a breath and shook his head in amusement. “I didn’t think you were interested in interoffice gossip, Dave,” he said with a smirk.

 

Rossi mirrored Aaron’s smirk as he crossed his legs and folded his hands in his lap. “It’s not gossip if I’m asking you directly, is it?”

 

Aaron sighed but then chuckled as he sat back in his own chair. “No, I guess not,” he answered in a soft voice. His amusement changed to suspicion an instant later though. “But why do you want to know?”

 

“Because I consider you my good friend and I care about you,” Rossi answered innocently, holding out his hands out as if to ask, ‘Why else?’

 

“Sure that’s your only reason, Dave,” Aaron answered with a roll of his eyes. “You just like knowing things the rest of the team doesn’t so you can hold it over their heads.”

 

“Hmmm, you know me so well,” Rossi said, his smirk growing wider as he tilted his head in agreement with Aaron’s words. “So, is your new sweetheart a gal or a guy?”

 

Aaron narrowed his eyes slightly at Rossi’s question but didn’t react except to counter the senior agent’s question with one of his own. “Does it matter?”

 

“Of course it doesn’t matter,” Rossi responded, Aaron’s attitude not phasing him even a bit. “Which is why you shouldn’t hide it from me or the rest of the team.”

 

Aaron sighed and lessened his guard once more, knowing that Rossi was right. Aaron just wasn’t sure how everyone was going to react when they found out his new love-interest (and after yesterday evening, there was no question in Aaron’s mind that that’s what Spencer was) was a man. But, he trusted Rossi so he took a leap and said, “He’s a guy.”

 

Rossi smiled and nodded his head. “Good. I’m was hoping you’d finally find a guy to hopefully settle down with.”

 

Aaron crinkled his eyes in confusion. This was definitely not the way he imagined a conversation like this going. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that you’re happy for me and behind my life decisions… but why were you hoping I’d specifically meet a guy?”

 

Rossi’s expression turned slightly incredulous, but then he just shook his head and patiently explained, “Come on, Aaron. I’ve known you for a long time. You always _were_ more fond of the fellas. I was honestly shocked when you decided to marry Haley.”

 

Aaron sighed and reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He should have known that Rossi would come back with a response like that. Even though it was true that most of his attractions had been toward other guys, but it wasn’t like he’d never had girlfriends before! But, he had to admit that his track record with women definitely wasn’t good as it was with men, which brought him back to the current conversation. “Yeah,” he responded bitterly. “I guess that was a huge mistake, wasn’t it? Look how it all turned out”

 

“You can’t be like that, Aaron,” Rossi said kindly, sitting forward slightly in his chair. “You had some great times with Haley and I know you have a lot of fond memories of her and those times together. Plus, you got Jack out of the relationship and I know for a _fact_ that you don’t regret him.”

 

Aaron sighed yet again but relaxed a little as he nodded his head. “You’re right, Dave. That’s definitely true.”

 

“I know I’m right,” Rossi said with a smirk as he sat back in his chair and shifted a little. “People should really listen to me more often.”

 

Aaron chuckled and rolled his eyes at his friend. “Conceited much?” he asked sarcastically.

 

“Not at all,” Rossi answered defensively with a twinkle of humor glittering in his eyes. “I just tell the truth!”

 

The two shared a laugh and Aaron was surprised to find that talking about Haley, which usually depressed him, hadn’t dampened his good mood really at all. ‘ _Maybe I finally_ am _moving on,’_ he thought with some satisfaction. He hated being stuck in a rut, especially when it came to his emotions. Now that he’d finally found someone new that he might actually have a future with, he really _wanted_ to let go of everything having to do with the bad that Haley had brought to his life. Yeah, he had some good memories with her, like Rossi had pointed out, and he wouldn’t trade Jack for anything in the world, but… maybe he was ready to move on now because he _wanted_ a fresh start. He wanted his life back and maybe, just maybe, Spencer could help him with that.

 

“So come on,” Rossi finally said, breaking the moment of silence that had descended upon them. “Tell me all about him.”

 

Aaron smiled softly and his voice turned gentle. “His name is Spencer and I met him at the park on Saturday morning.”

 

“At the park?” Rossi asked, slightly surprised. “Are you sure this guy’s not a minor?”

 

Aaron laughed and shook his head. “No, he’s legal,” he answered and then laughed some more. “I was worried about the same thing at first, but he was carded when we went out yesterday, so now I know for sure.”

 

Rossi chuckled at that and continued to smirk. “So you met this guy Saturday, went out with him yesterday, and today you look and sound like you’re ready to spend the rest of your life with him? He must be some kind of special. Come on, start from the beginning. This is something I’ve _got_ to hear.”

 

Aaron smiled and sat back in his chair as he folded his hands together. His eyes got a distant look, as if he wasn’t really seeing what was right in front of him, and he began to recount the events of the past few days.

 

He told Rossi of his encounter in the park and his first impressions of the pixie-like man that had stolen his heart. Rossi had been surprised to hear that Spencer had known Jason Gideon, but on second thought, it really wasn’t all that much of a shock. After all, Jason had had many prodigies in his time and if the kid was as smart as Aaron said, it was no wonder he’d once been Jason’s wonder child.

 

When Aaron got to the part about Spencer running right into him outside of the Starbucks, Rossi burst out laughing and Aaron couldn’t keep the wide smile off of his face. “Yeah it was pretty funny,” Aaron said warmly as he leaned back in his chair and wove his fingers together over his abdomen. “He was embarrassed, but he seemed to get over it quickly.”

 

“That’s good,” Rossi replied with a twinkle in his eyes. “At least he’s used to his own clumsiness”

 

Aaron chuckled and shook his head in amusement but didn’t argue Rossi’s statement. Spencer _did_ seem to be quite clumsy but he also didn’t appear to dwell on what most people would consider to be shortcomings. Aaron just thought he was cute.

 

“Well, come on,” Rossi goaded impatiently. “Where did you go that the kid needed to be carded?”

 

“First we went to a diner and ate,” Aaron answered, his eyes glazing over slightly as he continued his story. “It was really nice. We literally sat there until the diner closed just talking and getting to know each other. After that, we went to get a drink at a nearby bar and that’s where he was carded. He told me that it happens to him all the time, which made him blush profusely. We left at around midnight since we both had to work today and I took him home.”

 

Rossi’s eyebrows crinkled together as if he were trying to figure something out and, after a moment, he asked, “That’s it? You just ‘took him home’?”

 

Aaron sighed and rolled his eyes but a small smile still graced his lips. “Yes, Dave, I just took him home and then left for my own house,” he explained patiently. “I don’t think Spencer would have appreciated if I’d tried to go any further.” Aaron sighed once more and the smile faded from his face. His words turned somewhat sad as he added, “He seems to have serious self-esteem issues, Dave. It’s really heartbreaking to hear him talk about himself or to hear him ask why anyone would ever want to be his friend. Both yesterday and Saturday, he just continually seemed so surprised that I would want to be around him or get to know him. It just makes me wonder what on Earth could have happened to him to cause him to feel such emotions. He seems like such a gentle soul.”

 

“Why don’t you ask him why he feels that way?” Rossi suggested bluntly with a shrug of his shoulders. “Seems like the most direct path to me.”

 

Aaron chuckled slightly and shook his head. “I thought about trying to discretely direct him into giving up some sort of explanation while we were talking at the diner last evening, but apparently he’s a better profiler than even _Jason_ gave him credit for or else Jason would have tried harder to get him into the Bureau,” Aaron answered with an almost proud smirk on his face. “Every time I thought I was getting close, he would direct the conversation elsewhere to avoid giving any real details. Plus, I’ve only know him for less than two days, so I didn’t want to push too hard and scare him off right away.”

 

Rossi chortled and rolled his eyes. “Right, I always forget that dates aren’t really just glorified interrogations.”

 

“And that’s why you’ve been married and divorced three separate times, Dave,” Aaron retorted with a wide grin and amusement lighting up his eyes.

 

Rossi smirked and shrugged his shoulders. “You’re probably right,” he answered good-naturedly. “But at least I got past the first date with all three of them.”

 

“Are you suggesting that I _won’t_ get past a first date here?” Aaron asked somewhat offended at the implication in Rossi’s comment.

 

“Not at all,” Rossi answered sincerely, locking eyes with Aaron to let him know that he hadn’t meant anything with his words. “I’m just wondering what exactly you all talked about if both of you spent the whole time redirecting the conversation.”

 

Aaron laughed outright and smiled warmly as he again recalled his previous evening with Spencer. “We talked about our likes and dislikes, our jobs, what we like to do in our respective free-times… you know, simple things. Nothing too serious but enough to keep the conversation going for hours.”

 

“Sounds boring to me, but whatever floats your boat,” Rossi answered in a teasing voice. He really was happy that his long-time friend had found somewhat of a kindred spirit. Even if a relationship didn’t develop between Aaron the young man he seemed to be smitten with, Rossi hoped that the two men would still become good friends. In their line of work, the concept of ‘too many friends’ just didn’t exist.

 

A moment of silence descended upon the two friends as they each were briefly sucked into their own thoughts. However, Rossi was suddenly brought back to reality when he realized that Aaron had left out a very important detail in his recounting. “Did you tell him about Jack?”

 

Aaron startled slightly, Rossi’s words bringing him back to the current conversation, but then he did something that Rossi had only ever seen him do a few times in all the years he’d known him. Aaron blushed and averted his eyes. “I, well… I was going to, but… I mean, I…” Aaron stuttered out and then groaned angrily at his inability to explain. He loved his son more than anything in the world and he knew it was very selfish, as well as just _wrong,_ to keep the fact that he had a son from someone he wanted to pursue a relationship with. “I guess I just didn’t want to find out that he didn’t like kids,” he finally said somewhat lamely.

 

“I think I get that line of reasoning,” Rossi answered knowingly. “But you and I both know how much Jack means to you and it’s unfair to keep him hidden, so to speak. Besides, if the kid is anything like how you’ve described him, there’s no doubt in my mind that he’ll love Jack and he won’t be scared away by the knowledge that you have a child.”

 

Aaron took a few deep breaths and then nodded his head. “You’re right, Dave,” he said softly and made a mental note to tell Spencer about Jack the next time he saw him. It wasn’t right that Aaron hadn’t told Spencer immediately about his son, especially when Jack meant more to him than the anything else, and he immediately felt ashamed that he’d tried to hide the little boy for fear of the reaction of someone he’d known a little over a day. ‘ _What is_ wrong _with you?!’_ he demanded of himself as he closed his eyes and fought his emotions down.

 

‘ _You’re already in love,’_ a voice in his head answered before he could stop it. The revelation sent Aaron figuratively whirling. He was excited and terrified at the same time over the prospect of being in love with someone he barely knew.

 

‘ _Wait, wait, wait!’_ he demanded of his own mind, immediately putting a halt to his current thought process. ‘ _Think about this logically! You’re not in_ love _, you just_ like _the attractive, kind young man. You like him and you want him to like you, and hopefully after you tell him about Jack, he still will. Though, if he doesn’t, then you don’t need him in your life, do you? But you’re definitely_ not _in love. No! Love takes time to form and it has to be mutual. There’s no such thing as love at first sight! Is there?’_

Aaron wasn’t given any more time to think about an answer or how he felt, however, as Rossi cut into his personal argument, once again distracting him from his thoughts.

 

“So, are you going to see him again?” Rossi asked curiously, oblivious as to what exactly had been going on in Aaron’s mind just moments before.

 

Aaron smiled before he even thought about the action, his heart warming at just the mention of seeing Spencer again. ‘ _God, you really need to get a hold of yourself!’_ he berated himself, but he just couldn’t keep from feeling happy. “Yeah we have plans for Friday if things work out,” he answered softly, resigning himself to the fact that he’d apparently turned into a big sap in the last few days.

 

“Well then, here’s hoping no cases take us out of town,” Rossi said kindly, dipping his head in a silent toast and hoping against hope that his friend’s happiness over his new love interest would last.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Spencer Reid sat at his desk in his office, staring absently down at the pile of papers he was supposed to be grading. Normally, it would take him no time at all to go through and grade the assignments of his students, but today, he just couldn’t seem to concentrate. In fact, all he could think about was how wonderful his evening with Aaron had been. God, but that man was attractive! Spencer honestly didn’t have a clue what Aaron saw in him, but he was immensely happy that the gorgeous man seemed to want to see him again.

 

They had plans for dinner on Friday, but even as he felt excitement and joy flood his senses at the thought of actually having plans (and not just _plans_ but an actual _date_!), a ball of guilt settled into his stomach and made him bite his lip out of nervousness. There were things he should have told Aaron last evening about himself so that he didn’t feel like he was leading Aaron on just to disappoint him in the end.

 

Spencer sighed and reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. Secrets were never a good thing, in Spencer’s opinion, and Aaron had a right to know about Spencer’s dirty laundry before things between them went any further. Even though Spencer didn’t understand _why_ , Aaron seemed to want to pursue _something_ with Spencer… but Spencer wasn’t so sure Aaron would feel the same after Spencer revealed a few facts that he hardly ever told _anyone_.

 

Just the thought of revealing so much of himself to a person he barely knew had Spencer on the verge of a panic attack, however. Was it really necessary to tell those things to the wonderfully kind man that had already stolen his heart? Because, even though he was a little embarrassed to admit it, Spencer knew that he was already in love with Aaron.

 

No one had ever wanted to take the time to get to know him like Aaron had done! Sure Spencer had had ‘friends’ in the past, but he’d always felt like they were more just humoring him as a means to some end. Spencer didn’t feel that way around Aaron. Aaron made him feel like he was _important_! Like he was someone that _mattered_. Aaron listened and wanted to know about him and he didn’t seem to have some ulterior motive by being around him. In other words, what wasn’t to love?

 

Spencer was so deep in his thoughts that he didn’t hear the soft knock that resounded on his office door or the hesitant call of his name. Only when he felt a hand on his shoulder did he resurface into reality, startling from the sudden shock of being touched and barely holding in a surprised squeak as he struggled not to listen to his ‘flight’ instincts telling him to jump out of his office window.

 

“I’m so sorry, Dr. Reid!” Spencer heard a high female voice say as the hand was removed from his shoulder. “I didn’t mean to scare you! You just weren’t answering and I thought… well… I don’t know… I’m sorry!”

 

“It’s alright,” Spencer answered quickly as he tried to regulate his breathing and calm himself back down. He started to blush at his reaction to the girl’s touch. There was no reason for him to be that deep in his thoughts during office hours when his students needed him! He looked over at the young girl who was nervously shifting from foot to foot next to the door, as if she was about to bolt away and go hide somewhere and he felt infinitely more ashamed.

 

Spencer forced a smile onto his face as he quickly went through his mental catalog, coming upon the necessary information quicker than he could blink. The tall blonde girl was Constance McMann, 3rd row 2nd seat to the left in his Tuesday/Thursday 3:00 to 4:30 Criminality class. Somewhere stored in his mind also came the facts that she liked to be called Connie, she often wore blue, and she usually spent the few minutes before and after class talking to Victoria Johnson and Noreen Throughton. They were probably her friends, he thought vaguely.

 

Before he could delve back down into his mind and think on the subject of how everyone seemed to have friends except for him, Spencer blinked a few times and cleared his throat. “Please sit down, Connie,” he said as he gestured to the chairs in front of his desk. “What did you need?”

 

Connie seemed surprised at being called by not only her name but the name she preferred, and Spencer absently remembered that most professors had trouble keeping track of their students because the average class size at the university was over 100. However, he wasn’t going to apologize for his memory so he just waited for the girl to sit down and start talking.

 

Regaining her composure quickly, Connie sat down in one of the chairs and said, “I was just wondering if you’d graded my paper yet, but I see you have a whole stack there in front of you, so I’m guessing probably not?”

 

Spencer smiled at her rambling, completely understanding the urge to speak like that when entering a situation that wasn’t exactly comfortable. “No I haven’t gotten to it yet, but if you have a few minutes, I’ll grade it right now.”

 

Connie just nodded excitedly and sat back in her chair to wait.

 

Spencer sighed and quickly flipped through the pile of papers until he came to Connie’s. He then grabbed a pen and started to read and grade at lightning fast speeds, sinking into himself in order to concentrate more efficiently.

 

Spencer was again brought out of his thoughts, however, by the young girl in front of him.

 

“Dr. Reid, are you ok?” Connie asked hesitantly, obviously unsure if she should be asking such a personal question of her professor.

 

Spencer looked up at her and blinked a few times, surprised at her inquiry. He began to say that he was fine, but then he bit his lip and wondered if he shouldn’t just use this opportunity to sort through some of his thoughts. “Well, since you brought it up,” he began slowly, keeping his gaze on Connie to measure her reactions to his words and to see if she’d been serious in her question. She didn’t do anything but lean forward slightly in her chair, so Spencer continued. “I’ve been presented with a sort of… personal issue that I’m having trouble with. I… well I have plans Friday with… someone important, but I… I need to tell this person some… _things_ that may cause the person to… well… not want to see me anymore. I guess my problem is… whether it’s worth telling this person _anything_ … or if it would just be better to break things off now and save myself from possible humiliation.”

 

Connie was silent for a moment and appeared to be thinking about Spencer’s oddly worded somewhat-question. Then she took a deep breath and started talking. “Ok, so what I’m getting is that you met a nice guy, and I’m assuming it’s a guy because, come on, everyone knows you’re gay because Dr. Katie Zand from over in the mathematics department has been flirting with you for over a year now and you just seem to be completely uninterested even though she’s not bad-looking for someone in her thirties, but that’s not the point. You met a guy and you have some skeletons in your closet, like everyone does, but now you’re afraid that this guy won’t like you after he gets to know you a little better. Am I right? Well, let me tell you, Dr. Reid, if this guy has a problem with who you are, then he’s not worth your time! I dated a guy, Zachary Turner, back in high school who hated the fact that I was a better basketball player than he was and, even though he was cute, he just wasn’t worth my time because he didn’t appreciate me! Do you understand? Did I help?”

 

Spencer blinked a few times as he tried to process this girl’s long-winded response. He’d honestly never heard someone give such a round-about answer before. He chuckled but then he stopped as some of her words sank in. “Wait a minute, Dr. Zand has been flirting with me?” he asked incredulously as he began to recall every interaction he’d had with the woman. Before he could come to a conclusion about the validity of Connie’s claims, however, another thought struck him and made him blush. “A-And _everyone_ knows I’m gay?” he stuttered slightly, not knowing now he felt about that revelation.

 

“Pretty much anyone who pays attention, yeah,” Connie said with a smile as she sat back in her chair. “But don’t worry about it! There’s nothing wrong with being gay! In fact, it seems to be all the rage anymore. _Everyone_ is on the bisexual train!”

 

Spencer laughed and felt some of his unease slip away. He’d never had someone be so accepting of his sexual orientation before… but then again, he really hadn’t had very many personal conversations in his life that dealt with that topic so he didn’t have a lot of experience to draw upon.

 

“So wait, you didn’t answer my question,” Connie interjected, once again bringing Spencer away from his person musings. “Did I help? Was I helpful?”

 

Spencer took a deep breath and thought about the girl’s previous words. She was right in a sense. If Aaron wasn’t comfortable with his secrets, then Aaron wasn’t worth his time. Then again, Spencer _wanted_ Aaron to be worth his time… but he couldn’t _make_ Aaron accept him for who he was… and Aaron _did_ deserve to know at least _some_ of Spencer’s secrets before he got too invested just in case he _couldn’t_ handle what Spencer would eventually need to tell him anyway. So yeah, maybe Connie _had_ helped. Spencer at least was more determined than he was before that he should talk to Aaron as soon as possible, so Spencer smiled at Connie and said, “Yeah, yeah you did. Thank you.”

 

Connie smiled widely with delight and bounced a little in her seat. “Yay!” she exclaimed and clapped her hands slightly. She then stopped suddenly and cocked her head to the side, though, and added, “Wait, does this mean I get extra credit?”

 

Spencer laughed outright as he looked back down at the paper in front of him. “We’ll see, Connie,” he answered and then started in on grading her paper once more.


	4. The Greatest Hope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I am so incredibly sorry that it's been forever since I've updated. I've been facing some daunting medical problems lately and it was very very difficult for me to get anything down in writing. However, I hope that things will start to look up soon so hopefully I'll be able to get updates out sooner than once every couple of months. I'll also get to everyone's comments asap. I really do appreciate them :) Thanks to everyone for being patient with me and for understanding! I hope you enjoy this chapter :D

Aaron sighed and leaned back in his chair.  He was exhausted from looking at files and filling out paperwork all day.  He glanced at the clock.  ' _4:45... 15 minutes until we can all go home... but then again, what do I have to go home to?'_ he thought sadly as he sat back up straight and grabbed another folder.  Jack stayed with Haley during the week so Aaron wouldn't see him until the weekend if the team didn't have a case.  But honestly, what were the chances that they would have two weekends off in a row?  ' _Not very high,'_ Aaron answered himself as he leaned further over the folder, trying to focus his tired eyes.  With how often they got called out, he probably wouldn't end up seeing his son again until next month at the soonest.

 

Aaron dropped his pen and sat back in his chair once more, bringing his hands up to run them through his hair.  He needed to get his mind in a better place or he wouldn't be able to concentrate on the work that needed to be done.  ' _But what's the use, really?'_ his mind asked him as he closed his eyes and took a couple deep breaths.  It was already 4:50.  He could leave in 10 minutes.  Why should he put in so much extra work all the time when he wasn't being paid to do so?  They all got paid set salaries; they didn't get paid by the hour... so why should he stay and work himself to death?  ' _Because you're avoiding going home to an empty house and having nothing to do all evening except wallow in self-pity,'_ his mind supplied... and, as much as he hated that thought, he knew it was true.  If he went home now, he'd just end up opening the bottle of whiskey he had hidden in the back of the freezer and drinking himself to sleep, only to wake up miserable tomorrow morning when he had to come back to work.

 

A sudden thought hit him though and he opened his eyes.  Maybe he didn't _have_ to go home.  He never really felt that comfortable going out with his younger coworkers because he felt that it often blurred the supervisor/employee lines and made him look somewhat unprofessional... but what about Spencer?  Maybe he'd like to have dinner or something tonight?

 

Aaron was about to pull his cell phone over to him and call the young professor who had invaded his thoughts so often recently, but then hesitated.  What if it was too soon to call him and he thought that Aaron was being too overbearing or clingy?  After all, they did have a date for Friday if the team had no cases.  His hand hung suspended over the phone, ready to drop with the correct signal from his brain... but he just couldn't decide.

 

Then, suddenly, the phone rang, causing Aaron to jump and put his hand over his heart in shock.  He recovered quickly, however, and reached for the phone, checking the caller ID as he brought it up to eye-level.  A small smile stretched across his face when he saw that, calling him, was very man whom he had just been thinking of.

 

He pushed a button and brought the phone up to his ear.  "Hey, Spencer.  How are you?" he answered warmly, his mood immediately turning from depressed to happy.

 

_"Hi, Aaron,"_ he heard the nervous voice respond through the receiver.  " _I-I'm good.  How are you?"_

 

"Well, I'm better now than I was before.  I was just thinking about you," Aaron blurted out before he really thought about his words.  He immediately covered his mouth with his other hand and closed his eyes momentarily in horror.  ' _Yeah, because_ that _didn't sound creepy at all,'_ his mind shot out at him sarcastically.  Before he could stutter out an explanation to his words, however, he heard a little giggle come from the phone.

 

" _Really?"_ Spencer asked, his voice sounding shy and happy at the same time.  " _Well, I um... I was just thinking about you too.  Which is why I'm calling..."_ Spencer then took a deep breath before he continued talking.  _"I-I'm usually not this forward but I was talking with one of my students and, well... she made some good points so I thought I would just give you a call and see what you thought as well.  I mean... I know it's short notice so I'll understand if you have something else already planned but I thought I would just take the chance anyway - "_

 

"Spencer, Spencer," Aaron interrupted, trying to keep up with the words being spoken to him and understand what the genius was rambling on about.  "Calm down, sweetheart.  Take a few deep breaths," he said, the pet name slipping out without conscious thought on Aaron's part.  After he'd heard Spencer follow his instructions, he continued with, "Now, what are you trying to say to me?"

 

_"I um... well I-I wanted to uh... to ask if you'd like to have dinner with me this evening?"_ Spencer answered hesitantly, his words coming out a little shakily, evidence of his nerves.  " _Like I said before, if you already have plans, that's ok… I just thought I'd ask."_

 

Aaron's smile grew wider and he was quick to answer the young man's inquiry.  "I would _love_ to have dinner with you, Spencer.  Where and when should I pick you up?"

 

Spencer seemed to be a little flustered at Aaron's quick affirmative response so he spluttered and fumbled over his words somewhat before he said, _"You uh... you really don't have to pick me up!  I mean, I can just meet you somewhere.  I don't want to inconvenience you in any way."_

 

"Nonsense!" Aaron replied in a warm voice he hoped would assure Spencer.  "If we're going out on a date, I want to be a proper gentleman and pick you up."  Suddenly realizing his words could be seen as emasculating to the young man, however, Aaron amended with, "Unless, of course, you want to come pick _me_ up, which I'd be completely fine with."

 

Spencer giggled slightly at Aaron's flustered tone of voice and interrupted him before he could dig himself further into the hole he was creating.  _"Well, I_ would _come pick you up but my car is currently out of commission so that means we'd have to ride the subway or a cab, which just doesn't sound very pleasant to me at the moment."_   Spencer then took a deep breath, preparing himself and gathering a little courage to express what he wanted to say next.  _"Besides, just because I'm a male doesn't mean that I don't like for my uh... my boyfriend to take control."_

 

"Your boyfriend?" Aaron asked with surprise and more pleasure than he'd care to admit to anyone other than Spencer.

 

_"Yeah,"_ Spencer responded hesitantly and then quickly rushed to explain himself.  _"I mean, I know we haven't known each other very long and we've only really been out on one date together so this may_ _seem a little rushed but... but... I don't know!  It doesn't_ feel _rushed!  I... well, I've never felt like this about anyone else in my life and I_ know _that sounds so clichéd but its_ true!  _I mean, I understand if you don't feel the same way and I won't be offended if you don't and god, I really hope I didn't just scare you off because I really like you and, well - "_

 

"Spencer, Spencer, hey, it's ok," Aaron interrupted the rant, a wide smile forming on his face.  He waited for Spencer to take a few deep breaths and then continued.  "It's a good thing you like me because I really like you too.  And no, it doesn't feel rushed to me either and, even though we _haven't_ known each other for long, I would be honored to call you my boyfriend."

 

_"Really?"_ Spencer asked in a small, pleased voice and Aaron could just imagine the shy smile on the small man's angelic face.

 

"Really," Aaron assured him confidently, feeling hope and love swell in his chest for the first time in a very long time.  "Now, where and when should I pick you up this evening?"

 

_"What?"_ Spencer asked, his voice slightly dazed for a moment before it cleared.  _"Oh, our date!  Um well, how about I give you directions to my apartment building and you can pick me up there at about 6:30?  Would that be ok?"_

 

"That sounds wonderful," Aaron affirmed and then quickly wrote down the directions he was being given on a scrap sheet of paper.  "Alright, I guess I'll see you in a little while then."

 

_"Yeah, see you,"_ Spencer answered and then hung up before Aaron could respond.

 

Aaron chuckled and shook his head slightly.  The man was just so _nervous_!  But Aaron couldn't help but feel like the trait made Spencer all the more endearing.  He took a deep breath and blew it out, then, checking the clock to make sure it was close enough to five to leave, Aaron quickly threw the rest of his unfinished folders into his briefcase, grabbed his suit jacket off the back of his chair, and then rushed out of his office, making sure the shut and lock the door behind him.

 

"Oi, Boss-Man!" Garcia called out as Aaron passed his other team members in the bullpen.  "You're leaving on _time_?" she asked in a shocked voice that reflected the shocked faces of Morgan, Emily, and JJ.

 

Aaron stopped and turned back to them, a small smirk playing across his face.  He took a moment to glance up at Dave, who was leaning over the railing of the catwalk in front of their offices and smiling warmly at him, before he answered with, "Yes, I have a date."  He then turned and left before the stunned agents could respond.

 

Aaron's smile grew as he stepped onto the elevator and, right before the doors closed, heard Morgan bellow out, "You better be sharing more info in the morning, Hotch!"

 

* * *

 

 

Spencer was beyond nervous.  He looked himself over in the full-length mirror once again, straightening his tie and wiping out invisible wrinkles in his shirt and pants as he looked at himself at all angles, making sure he was presentable.

 

Eventually he just closed his eyes and took some deep breaths to try to calm down.  He looked as good as he was going to get.  He had finally settled on an outfit consisting of black dress pants, a grey striped dress shirt, a black vest, and a red tie.  One grey argyle sock, one black sock with grey stripes, and his black converse tennis shoes completed the outfit.  He’d also decided to wear his contacts instead of his glasses, hoping that they’d help him look less like a nerdy professor heading to class than someone going out on a date.

 

He looked over at the clock on the wall to check the time and his eyes widened.  If he didn't leave now, he wouldn't be in front of the building to meet Aaron on time!  Yeah, he’d given the man directions to his apartment building, but he wasn’t naïve enough to tell almost a complete stranger his apartment number!

 

Spencer had a hard time believing that he’d taken the chances that he already had after what had happened to him in the past.  Aaron _did_ work in the FBI (he’d even shown Spencer his ID badge when he’d asked to see it), but something in Spencer told him not to just completely abandon all of his past wariness and general mistrust of the world around him just because of that.  After all, he’d experienced first-hand how someone he trusted could quite easily betray that trust.  And there were always bad-eggs in law enforcement (even though he really hoped that Aaron wasn’t one).  But, at the same time, Spencer hadn’t really gotten any bad vibes off of him or anything…

 

_‘Not that you would necessarily feel anything anyway,’_ he thought to himself as he grabbed his messenger bag and made sure he had his wallet and keys before he shut and locked his door behind him.  ‘ _You didn’t feel anything_ last _time… in fact, you didn’t suspect_ anything _until you were knocked up-side the head and dragged off to Hell.’_

 

Spencer sighed and tried to calm himself down.  He tried not to think about those days in his life if he could help it, but the knowledge that he was going to reveal it to Aaron, a person who he already respected and cared for even though he’d only known him since Saturday, was slowly eating at him and causing him to grow continuously more nervous every second that passed.  ‘ _He needs to know if you two are ever going to mean_ anything _to each other!  He has to understand what happened and what came from it in order to decide whether I’m still worth his time or not… and besides that, as soon as it’s out in the open, the sooner I can move forward and stop living in the past!  Nothing will ever go anywhere if I can’t go any further than where I am now.’_

 

And then there were the issues with his parents to consider.  Should he tell Aaron about his hospitalized mother or his deadbeat father?  How much information was _too_ much information to provide upfront to a man he barely knew (but who he so desperately wanted to know better)?

 

Before he knew it, he was standing in front of his building and looking around, hoping that Aaron would see him when he pulled up because he suddenly remembered that he’d not asked the older man what kind of car he was going to be driving.  Spencer blew out a breath and told himself just to relax.  Regardless of how Aaron took what Spencer had to tell him, he wanted to have fun up until that moment.

 

He told himself to breathe as he leaned back against the cool brick of the building to wait.  He again tugged on his vest and shirt to make sure they were wrinkle-free and then nervously played with the cuffs of his shirt as the minutes ticked by.  He didn’t have long to wait, though, because before he knew it, a black SUV was pulling up to the curb, passenger side facing Spencer.

 

The vehicle window rolled down and Aaron leaned over from the driver’s seat and smiled out at Spencer.  “Need a ride, stranger?” he asked playfully, his eyes lighting up as Spencer let out a little giggle and practically ran over to the car, opened the door, and hopped in.  Aaron took a sweeping glance up and down Spencer’s lithe body and his smile grew wider.  “You look gorgeous,” he said in a slightly gravelly voice.

 

Spencer blushed as he buckled his seat belt and murmured a quick but sincere “Thank you,” keeping his eyes levelled straight at his knees.

 

Aaron laughed softly, loving the red coloring that was spreading over Spencer’s neck and up into his cheeks.  He put the truck in gear and began to drive out of the parking lot to the apartment complex, but stopped when he realized that he didn’t know where he was going.  “So what are the plans for tonight?” he asked as he stopped before turning out onto the busy road.  “I mean, I’m assuming that you have a specific place in mind.”

 

“Hmm?” Spencer voiced, looking up at Aaron with a slightly confused cock to his head.  A moment later, though, clarity made his eyes grow wide and he blushed once again as he exclaimed, “Oh yes, dinner!  Um yeah I did have a place in mind.  Do you like Thai?” he asked nervously, fingers fiddling rapidly with the buttons on his vest.

 

Aaron smiled fondly at the anxious man beside him and nodded his assent.  “Yes, Spencer, I do,” he answered honestly, finding himself chuckling once again as Spencer brightened and looked up at him excitedly.  “Just tell me which way to drive.”

 

Spencer nodded and began to give Aaron directions to a little out-of-the-way place that he’d discovered his first few months living in DC.  The ride was filled with comfortable silence, only Spencer’s words of “Turn right at this light,” and “Turn left just up ahead,” filling the quiet.  Both men were immersed in their thoughts about how the night was going to go and if the news each had to give to the other would mean that this would be their last date.

 

Finally they pulled into the parking lot of the small restaurant, Aaron putting the vehicle into park and turning it off, but before Spencer could even reach for the door handle, Aaron grabbed his arm.  Spencer glanced over at Aaron in confusion and bit his lip, slightly worried about the concerned and nervous expression that had suddenly appeared on Aaron’s face.

 

“Spencer, I…” Aaron began but then paused, cleared his throat, and took a deep breath.  “Spencer, there’s something I need to tell you and I’m not sure how you’re going to take it.  In fact, I should have told you yesterday when we were talking about ourselves, but I guess I just didn’t know how to bring it up.”

 

“I understand,” Spencer answered with a slightly sad smile.  “I-I have some things to tell you that I probably should have told you yesterday as well.  However, if it’s ok with you, I’d like t-to have a nice dinner with a light atmosphere first… and then perhaps afterword w-we can take a walk an-and discuss what we n-need to?”

 

Aaron returned Spencer’s smile and nodded his agreement.  He could certainly see where Spencer was coming from and, given Spencer’s sudden stutter, Aaron could see that the small man was as nervous as Aaron felt.  Hopefully eating a good meal and sharing some laughs would help to ease both of their worries and concerns.  And so, trying to push his fears to the back of his mind, Aaron moved his hand down to grip Spencer’s hand, and then he brought the delicate hand up to his lips and planted a small kiss on Spencer’s knuckles.

 

Spencer gasped in surprise but then smiled and let out a breathy laugh, his eyes sparkling in delight.  When Aaron released Spencer’s hand, the young doctor just looked in wonder at where he could still feel the older man’s lips.

 

Aaron’s smile turned affectionate and he reached up to squeeze Spencer’s shoulder, drawing the smaller man out of his thoughts.  “Come on, let’s go inside,” Aaron suggested and Spencer just nodded and began to exit the vehicle.

 

Aaron hurried after Spencer and met him in front of the SUV, impulsively grabbing Spencer’s hand to hold as they walked into the restaurant.  The fact that Spencer didn’t pull away gave Aaron the greatest hope that everything would indeed work out for the best.


End file.
